The Self Help Group
by ohmytacos
Summary: Angel is yelling for world domination, Harry Potter is accusing everybody of being a Death Eater, Fang has somehow gone silent,Max is -too much- in love with Fang, and...OH CRYPES! Just read my first fanfiction!
1. angel and her world domination

**A/N: Okay...so...this is my first fanfiction! I waited a little while to look at all the other fanfictions, and boy, was I pissed. SO MANY OOC'S! So, in a form of venting, I decided to write a fanfic about it...don't judge...**

**disclaimer: i don't own Molly Weasly, Bella Cullen, Angel, or Harry potter...but I DO own me, Taco! :)**

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Taco's POV:

I walked into my office. I sighed. Another day at work. I walked over to my desk and picked up my clipboard. Yesterday, I had asked my secratary, Molly, to put today's schedule on my clipboard before she left her office last night.

I did another dramatic sigh. Angel was the first one on the list, scheduled for nine o'clock this morning. I went into the chaotic lobby, then called Angel's name. Out of a yellow, smiley-faced bean-bag chair came little angel, wearing piggy-tails. I frowned at her appearence. What was with the black dress? The evil scowl on her face? This world-domination thing had gotten worse...

I sat Angel down in a comfy bed beside me.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked her politly.

"None of your buisness!" She snapped.

"Why are you wearing black today?" I asked her calmly.

"Because I want to look my best for World Domination."

"But yesterday you were wearing a pretty yellow dress. Don't you like yellow anymore?"

"Yellow means happiness. It will not be a color when I'm queen!" She yelled.

I sighed.

Three knocks came from behind the door.

"Come in!" I called. It was Molly.

"Here's your morning chocolate milk," The red-headed woman said, handing me a coffee mug.

"Skim milk?" I asked her.

"Of course, that's what you like best."

"How's your kid's these days?" I asked, not wanting to socialize with the evil-Angel anymore.

"We just sent Virginia off to Hogwarts. It's her first year, you know."

"Oh, congragulations!" I said, bored. Mrs. Weasly walked over to me.

"When did she start being like that?" She whispered to me, keeping an eye on Angel, who was by the bunny's cage in the corner, giving it the death look.

"She's been like that since...Fang, the book, came out."

"Ah, I...see," Molly Weasly said in a worried tone.

"Do you want me to take her down to wardrobe to...put a...yellow dress on her...?" Mrs. Weasly asked.

"YELLOW ISN'T A COLOR ANYMORE!" Angel screamed at us.

"Actually, can you have Bella Cullen do that? She's better at refusing mind control."

"Of course, Taco," Molly said, and left the door.

A few minutes later, Molly's voice came over the intercom, "Bella Cullen, please report to the ED room?"

Fifteen seconds later, a dazzling brown-haired vampire came into the room.

"What do you need me in the Emotional Disorder Room for, Taco?" Bella asked politly. She smiled, showing her ultra-white, razor-sharp teeth.

"Take Angel to the WR. Put her in a yellow dress. Put an extra-powerful shield around you. She _can_ control minds, after all."

"Sure, Taco," Bella said, then ran over to Angel, scooped her up, then ran out the door in a blur.

I looked to see who's next on my list.

"Oh, Crypes! Thank the odds for that!" I said sarcasticly. Next was Harry Potter.


	2. jane dies&harry potter tries to kill me

**A/N: Ok, since I got one review, I decided to go ahead and write the HP chapter! I might combine chapter 3 in this one, to make it longer, since my last chapter wasn't even 1,000 words... : (**

**And BIG thanks to **_dance is a spork_**, who was my first commenter EVER! : )**

**Angel: WORLD DOMINATION!**

**Taco: Angel, I thought Bella took you to the WR! **

**Angel: She did. I'm wearing a yellow dress, aren't I?**

**Taco: See? Yellow is a color after all, Angel! I think you're improving already! **

**Angel: YELLOW WILL NOT BE A COLOR WHEN I'M QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!**

**Taco: Nevermind...**

**Fang:...**

**Max: I LOOOVVEEE-**

**Taco: Shut It! Anyways...hope you enjoy reading about my morning! : )**

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_Taco's POV:_

I placed my empty skim-milk chocolate-milk on the sparkling glass desk. I ordered everything breakable out of the room before Harry showed up. I knew there would be jinxes flying around, and this glass furniture wasn't old, you know!

So instead, Felix and Thresh moved my glass furniture out, and replaced it with plastic furiture. I had a small, circular, plastic, green desk. Two lawn chairs, a cheap therapist bed, and two small beanbag chairs.

I slid two fingers across my desk and coughed. Ugh. Dust everywhere. Creepy little dead skin cells.

"Miss. Taco? Harry has checked into the lobby," Mrs. Weasly came in and told me. Poor woman. This year Ginny will open up the Chamber of Secrets...again. Didn't another reader just finish that book last week? I'm tired of her taking off to go see Ginny at Hogwarts, or cussing a Belatrix. But was most tiring was when the readers were reading the Order of the Pheonix. She never shows up for work. Jane wasn't exactly what you would label as "Assistant Material".

It was last week that Mrs. Weasly had to go to Hogwarts to cry about Ginny being stolen by the heir of Slytherin...again...

"Molly, who else would assist me but you?" I begged as she left her office early last week.

"I'm sorry," She said, crying. "But I need to visit Hogwarts! Virginia has been stolen!" She sobbed.

I was stunned when she went into the bathroom ans never reappeared. Jane snuck up behind me and said, "I'll do the job." Jane smiled. I gasped. This was much too dangerous. But...I was desperate.

"Fine," I told her as I began to walk away. Then the pain began. Excruciating pain. I wanted to die. But I couldn't. How could I die? I wanted to die! I looked for the closest thing to do. Hmm, running in front of a car was a good option. Then, the pain would end. I snapped back into my senses. In between my screaming I yelled at her, "FINE! I'LL JUST KILL YOU OFF IN MY NEXT FANFICTION!" The pain subsided.

"Now. Go. Get. Bella. Cullen." I growled. I wanted a shield at all times.

So now, I was more careful about who to hire.

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A/N:

Me: Okay, so that was part one of this chapter!

Harry: DEATH EATERS ARE EVERYWHERE!

Me: Yay. Can't wait for our appointment...

Fang:...

Angel: WORLD DOMINATION!

Me: Angel...hon...I'll just reschedule next week's appointment to tomorrow...

Jane:(in an evil tone) Hello, Taco...

Me: And then Edward Cullen came, broke Jane's neck, then burned her pieces into ashes.

Jane:...what?

POOF! Edward Cullen popped into the story!

Edward: Umm...where's Jane? Oh, a ha...

Fang:...

I won't tell you the gory rest...but...it ain't pretty...!

Me: I will try to post part two of chapter 2 later...it's 2:30, and I NEED LUNCH!

Fang: I thought you had some pizza.

Me: Don't be stupid, Fang. That was my breakfast.

Fang: Isn't that unhealthy?

Me: Hey! Pizza's the perfect breakfast meal! It has veggies, fruits, milk product, grain...

Fang: Wasn't that a cookie-pizza that you ate anyways?

Me: Touché...


End file.
